Goodbyes and Sprinkles

So I've officially decided...goodbyes hurt.  Saying goodbye (especially when you know its going to be for a long time) has a way of creeping into the very crevices of your soul and leaving a sharp pain.  I literally feel like I've had my heart ripped out of my chest a few times this week. I do not like saying goodbye.  I do not like change.  I do not like leaving the land of familiar and walking into a foreign territory.  It hurts.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  I finally finished up finals last Wednesday and then began the incredible task of moving the copious amounts of STUFF out of my dorm room and down four flights of stairs (without an elevator, I might add!)  Thankfully, I had sweet friends that helped with the  process and provided some laughs along the way.  As I stood in the doorway of my empty dorm room on Saturday morning, I felt that familiar pain again. Am I the only one who gets emotional about telling a dorm room goodbye? I feel like I'm being absolutely ridiculous...but this is reality for me right now.  Emotions are high.  Even simple decisions like purchasing plane tickets are causing me to burst into tears.  It's weird. 

I keep reminding myself that moving to China is my dream come true. And it really is.  And I really am excited!  It's just these anxious weeks leading up to the departure that are getting to me! As always Jesus has been extra kind to me lately.  He is continually reminding me of His overflowing Love and faithfulness.  He has given me His words like:

I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

Psalm 34:4-5

But I will sing of your strength;  I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.  For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.

Psalm 59:16

And even in the midst of the goodbyes, I have felt his strength and peace like never before.  I had a sweet friend remind me of Acts 20, where Paul was leaving for Jerusalem.  Verses 36-38 say:

And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all.  And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him, being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again.  And they accompanied him to the ship. 

This passage reminds me that human emotions are okay, as long as they do not hinder the mission. The mission must go on. Its our purpose.  Its why we live and breathe on this earth.  And although the tears are bitter and the emotions are fierce...the reward is oh.so.sweet.  Folks, we have the God of the Universe delighting in us and beckoning us to follow Him.  And I can take heart in knowing that every single emotion that is pulsing through my body right now...He has felt it.  And He is the only One equipped to comfort his children.

Now, about those sprinkles.  I read a book that had a story about sprinkles (I think the book is Set Apart Feminitity, which I HIGHLY recommend!) Anyway, the author told about how her son loved sprinkles on his ice cream.  And she started thinking.  Sprinkles really serve no purpose for the ice cream.  They don't taste.  They are actually annoyingly crunchy.  And the ice cream would not suffer if the sprinkles were absent.  But, for some reason, sprinkles make people happy.  She talked about how she wanted to leave sprinkles in the lives of other people.  Sprinkles are things like little notes, gifts, or kind words that are not really necessary...but they make people happy.  They brighten someone's day...just because.  Ever since I read that, I have been on the lookout for ways that I can leave sprinkles in the lives of people around me.  But I've also began to notice how Jesus deposits little sprinkles in my life on a daily basis.  Jesus has been showering me with lots of sprinkles as I've been preparing to leave.

One night a few weeks ago, I came back to my dorm room to find this lovely showering of...sticky notes.  But these are not just any sticky notes.  They are sticky notes filled with Scripture.

These precious friends knew that I'd been feeling down about leaving, and they knew of nothing better than the LIVING WORD to bring me comfort.  Oh and comfort they did bring!  Sprinkles...

This past Friday night, a friend asked me out to dinner for the last time.  When we arrived at the restaurant, 15ish of my girlfriends were waiting for me there.  I was so surprised!  And then, they presented me with a scrapbook filled with letters from each of them.  Letters of encouragement and wisdom for me to take to China with me.  I was so touched and overwhelmed.  Sprinkles...

Jesus has showered me with numerous sweet notes, talks, and gifts that I do not deserve. But I feel like its His little way of saying, "Dear Daughter, I am here.  I feel your anxiousness.  I see your fear.  And I am providing comfort.  Rest in me, Abby.  Rest in me.  Have I ever not been faithful?"

And the answer to that question is a big fat no.  Thank you, Jesus for godly friends who leave sprinkles of Your love in my life!