Solid Rock

Last night is the first night I've laid awake with thoughts ticking about China.  I have four nights left in my comfy-cozy bed on this side of the sea.  As I lay there last night, coaxing myself to go to sleep, little faces began flashing through my mind.  Some were familiar little ones that I will be seeing in one week.  Some were little ones that I have yet to meet.  Some were little ones that I will never see again this side of heaven.  As excited and giddy as I am to finally be with them again, that familiar ache is also rising in my soul.  The ache that says, "This is not right."

No, its not right.  I wish with everything in me that I was not going to the other side of the word to visit children that have been abandoned.  I wish that the word orphan did not exist.  I wish that pain, suffering, disability, and tears were nonexistent as well.  I wish that every happy moment spent with these treasures was not clouded by the reality of their situation.  But it is.  And for this reason, I look to Him.

I look to Him because He loves them more than I can even imagine loving them.  Every little ache that is plaguing my heart right now is only a sliver of an ounce of what He feels for them.  The anger I feel when I think about their malnourished little bodies and their empty eyes will never compare to the righteous anger He exudes when His precious ones are exploited.  I look to Him because He is enough for them.  He is.  And He is enough for me.

And because He is enough, I can walk confidently into this battlefield.  I can fight without becoming weary.  I can pray with blessed assurance.  I can sing with joy--real, soul-deep joy.  And at the end of every good, hard, full day with them, I can once again lay these babies at the foot of the cross and I can take my stand on the Solid Rock...and there find my rest.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.