I am my Beloved's...

And He is Mine!

Song of Solomon 6:3 

Hallelujah, what a Savior we serve.  I call the King of the universe my Beloved.   That He would look upon me, a guilty, dirty rotten sinner and call me Beloved will always astound me.  Jesus, thank you for being my ultimate Valentine.

Valentine's Day here at the Big House is a pretty big deal, well all holidays are actually.  Sweet Mariah, one of the (heroic) nurses serving here at Maria's went out of her way to make this Valentine's day extra special.  She prepared a wonderful breakfast with delicious scones (with pink sprinkles), pink pudding, pink whipped cream, pink milk, pink candy...etc.  She also decorated the table with beautiful flowers and candy arrangements complete with  red and pink candles.  Some of the other staff members went out of their way to make cards and goody packets for all the staff and volunteers.  Our celebration felt just like home! We all gathered together for a mid morning brunch to celebrate the holiday.  Mom, I told Mariah that you would be so glad to know that I did indeed get valentine goodies today. :)   

Needless to say, I felt warm and fuzzy all day.  Not to mention that I got to chat on the phone with two of my best friends and my sweet grandparents.  And don't forget the slobber kisses and baby giggles I got to indulge in.  Gooooood day!

The past few days have been pretty eventful and fun.  On Friday, a few of us loaded up in the van and headed to Jiaozuo, where another New Hope/Show Hope unit is located.  Its about a two hour drive away.  On the way there, Mikey realized he had taken the wrong exit.  So naturally, he proceeded to put the van in reverse and move backwards toward the interstate (side note: we were already about 2 miles down the exit ramp.  Chinese exit ramps are very long!)  "You just don't want to get lost in China..." was his excuse.  "Just let me know if there's a car coming and I'll honk."  Great words of wisdom.  So there we are, going backwards up the exit ramp, amidst oncoming traffic honking incessantly .  We suggested that he make a u-turn and at least go forward in the wrong direction.  Great idea! Obviously we made it safely back to the interstate, but we were all left saying, "Only in China...."  :)  The day at Jiaozuo was fun.  It was neat to see another unit...it felt like a mini-Maria's.  

On Saturday, two precious women arrived for the weekend.  They have spent 2 weeks volunteering at a foster home in Beijing.  These women were such a gift from my Heavenly Daddy.  On Sunday, we spent countless hours talking, crying, praying, crying, reading the Bible, crying, and crying some more.  It was sweet and cleansing for my soul.  Kim and Angie, you are true angels.  Your sweet and gentle spirits ministered to my soul in a way that only God can ordain.  I am forever thankful!

Why were we crying you might ask?  Well sweet friends, we were crying for lots of reasons.  We were crying because the plight of the orphan is so humongous that we feel helpless. Not hopeless--but helpless for sure.  We look around and see all these precious, priceless treasures and we wonder "why God?"  We wonder if we're really helping them by coming here.  Because I can love on them while I'm here...but then I leave.  Just like every other person in their life.  We cried because this is reality.  Its staring us in the face...and it seems unbearable at times.  We cried at the lack of passion for orphan care.  We cried for the comments we've heard. "Oh, I'll adopt after I have my own kids.  We would adopt if it wasn't so expensive.  God just hasn't called us to adopt, but its great what you're doing.  I don't know if I could love an adopted child like I love my own."  And while I understand that these comments are not made out of  cruelty or hard-hardheartedness, when I'm staring at a child in the face as if to say, "No, mommy isn't coming today..." I just cannot be sympathetic to excuses.  These are human beings. They are children. They are fearfully and wonderfully made by the master Creator Himself.  They are not a tourist attraction or a sad story on television.  They are real.   And if we won't act for them, who will?  No one will.  And that is reality.  They don't understand our excuses.

And I will not be shameful of the tears.  Anyone that has talked to me in the past few days will tell you...my heart is full.  But you know what?  These children deserve to be cried for.  They deserve my tears and pain.  When I cry, my mama usually cries too, because a mother feels the pain of her child in a way no one else can.  Well these babies don't have that.  Most of them have never had tears shed on their behalf.  So I will cry shamelessly.  And my prayer is that the Body of Christ as a whole will begin crying for these children. May the Father of the fatherless grip our hearts and give us an urgency to act quickly.  While we're sitting around praying about whether we should get involved--they are dying.  They are spending one more day alone and hopeless.  They are going to bed one more night in a place that is not home.  They are ceasing to cry because they know that when they cry, nothing happens.  That is reality.

What will we do when reality hits us in the face?  That is what I'm wrestling with, dear ones. I will greatly appreciate your prayers.  The weight of reality seems unbearable at times.  But when I am weak, He can be strong.  My Beloved is strong for me.  And He is strong for these babies.  I don't understand most of whats going on around me.  But I'm willing to fight to know Jesus in the midst of reality.  And I pray that every person who reads this blog will pray and consider the plight of these precious ones.  When when we stop making excuses?  When will we recognize our excuses as s-i-n? Yep, I said it.  Orphan care is more than a suggestion--its a command, a duty, and a divine privilege.

Thank you for listening to my heart.  I wish more of my posts could be light-hearted and easy.  But Jesus isn't either of those things.  So we press on through the heaviness.  Because at the end of the day...Jesus is all we have.  And He's all we want. 

P.s- If you would like to read some deep thoughts from my new friends, go here.  Good stuff.