Tough Stuff

Thank you to all the warriors out there who are constantly lifting me up.  I can feel your prayers...seriously, thank you.  I'm settled into my new home at the Big House.  I am so happy to be back with the little ones who have stolen my heart forever.  Life has been c-r-a-z-y.  My mom was here for 10 days and then our first student team came in  a few days later.  It has been such a joy to have the student team here.  This team was truly anointed by the Almighty himself, and I felt privileged to walk with them through their journey here.  It was so neat for me to watch them process everything they witnessed...to see the tears fall from their faces and hear their desperate cries to our Father on behalf of these precious ones.  I felt like I was experiencing it all for the first time again.  I've said it a million times...but its one thing to talk about the orphans in the world, but to hold them in your arms is a whole different story.  Now that we have seen, we are responsible.  Now that we have held them, our arms will forever ache.  I am so thankful to be here this summer and to watch from afar as He mobilizes His body to care for His children.  That's what I have to keep reminding myself...they are His and all my efforts to help them have to start with Him and end with Him.  He is the goal. 

Since I've only been here three weeks, I'm still processing a lot.   And I mean a lot.  I have more questions than ever before in my life.  I just don't understand so much of what I'm seeing.  I don't understand injustice.  Everyday, I'm falling more and more in love with children whose future is so uncertain.  Every moment spent with them is pure bliss, but each happy moment is clouded with the reality of the situation.  It's just stinkin' hard.  And I'm not really sure how to react.  Some days I am so overcome with emotion and despair that all I want to do is sit with them and weep (literally).  But some days I don't feel that stabbing pain--and that scares me because my biggest fear is becoming calloused and hardhearted.  I realize that being a weepy mess all the time hinders me from being a productive human being, but I don't know how else to funnel my emotions. And then when I'm not a weepy mess I feel like I'm not loving well enough.  Does this make sense?  So anyways, I would greatly appreciate your prayers as my Prince and I sift through this craziness called my emotions. Its tough stuff to wrestle through.  But I am so thankful to wrestle and I pray that we, as the body of Christ, will not back down from wrestling through this tough stuff.  Because this is the heart of our King.  If we aren't willing to wrestle with tough stuff...then really, what are we doing?

 Today I'll leave you with a question.  Are you willing to wrestle?  Are you willing to think about things that may make you weep?  Are you willing to ask yourself questions that do not have easy answers? Are you willing to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is the victim of injustice?  Are you willing to become emotionally invested in something that might rip your heart into pieces?  All passions arise from brokenness.  May we be broken for the things that break His heart..and may we be mobilized to action.  These little ones are worth it.  He is worth it.